Hey Luxe Babes and Gents
This isn’t going to be a fashion post…I mean, If your reading this…I know you are a true follower…or forgot to unfollow…lol!
DISCLAIMER: This Post may not be the most heavily edited…I’m kinda in my feelings about my life…and Im leaving out a lot…probably TONS of additional information for you to really connect the dots. Im just scratching the surface…not ready to be completely raw…yet. So Forgive my candidness and scatter babbling…but typing this helps turn tragedy into tears and tears to therapy. I need this…more then you ever know.
This is going to be more of a “Lets talk abt the invisible Elephant in the Room” type of post. My Feeling on life…The sadness in mine. My instagram followers know that I try to always be “real” to a certain degree. This is mainly because I see the beauty and the tragedy of what social media can indirectly do to out mental state! Social media is beneficial in a lot of ways…but I can see and have been subjected to its flaws. (Humor and whittness included…not sold separately)
If we don’t consciously exercise our self-awareness muscle, we might never realize how much the, sometimes hours, of mindless scrolling can affect the way we think about ourselves and our lives. There are some of us who think we are too fat, too thin…too short or too tall! Some of that think that they should have been married by now…or have been a mother of at least one child…Or that they have one kid too many, Some of us think that if we are single, we are broken…or that if our home don’t look immaculate 24/7 …we simply don’t and will never have it together!
Some of us think we are so behind the curve in finances if we cant just go to the chanel store and purchase that Buttery Calf skin leather bag we have always dreamed of. But I want you guys to do is take a deep breath and take other peoples lives with a grain of salt. Yes! There are some people out there who literally have saved and worked their ass off to get what they have…and that’s awesome!! Inspiring even! But You will probably never know just the amount of work and sacrifice they put in to get what they have!
But then…there are others, who wear the best of the best…drive the sleekest cars…live in the poshest of neighborhoods and are in debt up to their ears!!
If they loos their job…ISSA WRAP! And the Jone’s aren’t handing out personal loans to help us out when our finances are going down the drain!
I lived out of my means for a long while. Now, I wasn’t out here on my way less then 6 Figure Salary buying Audi’s and dropping thousands on Chanel bags and eating lobster and caviar as a Bi-Weekly treat. But I was using credit cards to create a life I wanted in order to feel “Normal”. It is indeed…toxic.
You see…My normal was not being “Extra” all the time, It was being able to buy extras when I wanted them and not having to be drilling down my checking account to see if I could afford it. It started out (Post buying my home 3 years ago” Purchasing (Charging) and paying off every month. Then I became Lax…The payments got lower (Less then the Balance) and the Balances became higher, Life slooooooowly creeped up on me.
Long story short…I could no longer breathe anymore. I got anxious when the phone rang…or I checked my mail. It was hard…tons of tears and a LOT of me hiding…because I could not let my family know how I screwed up. I could never reach out to them and ask for a bail out…not prideful…its just not a thing with my family. We have an unspoken “Dont talk abt out unless its critical” clause… And it would never be criticle enough for me too seek help from them (Other then the little advice from my Sister and BIL…but that’s it) I’m NOT here to give financial advice on what to do…BUT I will say that the feeling of Financial suffocation is an Awful, emotional feeling. Am I completely healed of this demon? I would love to say yes…but I know I’m not. I’m a little more cautious. I use my Debit card for most things these days…but I still have that overspending bug. So I have to reel it in when I feel out of control. Its like a eating disorder…but with money!
The same goes for my relationships….my Weight…my feelings of insecurity and “Will I Always be alone???”. We ALL have things that we are feeling that weighs on us. I know I have some depression…and anxiety. I HATE the weight i’m at…yet I’m tired of dieting. I wish I was “Body Positive” and Fat and Happy!” BUT IM NOT. I don’t Love my body at this weight…and neither do I feel Healthy at this weight (Which is the #1 thing I want to do…feel better!) It’s a thing! An in the Plus-Size community, I feel like we lack HONEST conversations about what we are accepting in our lives. (And Im NOT speaking to people who have legit medical illnesses and such…or who TRUELY just like being heavy…and that is Far and few…weather we want to admit it or not. At least im honest with myself!
“Your Soooo Pretty Stephanie! I cant believe you dont at least have a boyfriend!?!!?” I’m an introvert who just wants to be with someone who like to chill at home…or snuggle on roof tops across atlanta! LOL! (Do Yall realize how hard that is to find?? LOL!) To be blatantly honest…I’m not sure I am at the right place in my Mental health to allow someone in my space to love me! Would I believe “him” if he complimented me? Is he really interested in getting to know me or is he just trying to hit it? (Yes…at 40…this is still a thing!” . Will he truly accept all of me (In my John Legend voice) and all my flaws?? I secretly done even believe John Legends words…cause Crissy is a whole snack and her flaws would be my “After” even after baring 2 children and aging! Im just being real…lmao! (And I Love Crissy T! IJS!)
So to get to the point of the point of the point…Everyone’s story isn’t what you think. Social media…your co-workers and your neighbors…don’t always believe what you see or hear! I mean…some of your friends are out here renting MK Bags from rent-a center! Did you know that was a thing? Yeah…your welcome. (And if they are renting MK Bags…they are WAY behind SIS! If imma go broke or rent a bag…It’s gonna read Chanel, Hermes or Bottega… SOMETHING of substance! lol!
I often sit and Cry (I told yall I had bouts of depression) abt all the mistakes I made…the reflection in the mirror…the thought about loosing what little looks I had left after turning 40. And although I know it isn’t the healthiest way of coping…its ok to cry sometimes. I know yall want me to plus in 73 motivational quotes about how you are a boss, how you are a strong (Insert whatever you identify with…) woman, and how you need to create the life you want!! But I’m not going to. Although having mantras are not a bad idea… faith without work is DEAD. Some of the work includes sharing so your fellow woman does not feel alone…being REAL sometimes…not only sharing the highlight REEL (See what I did there? :::Eye Wink::) , and working on YOU at your own pace.
Love you guys…whoever takes the time to read this…you are the best.
Well Hello Luxe Babes!
I wanted to drop a few looks for you guys since Valentine’s day is just around the corner! I cented the looks around a closet staple we all have (Or should have…wink Wink!), the Little Black dress! I will refer to this as the “LBD” through out this post So I’m not going to smother you with my witty commentary hugs and my sarcastic kisses Although…I know you like it…lol…Lets get to it! Oh!! And there is a surprise at the end of this post…so keep reading!
First Off…lets talk about this LBD!
The LBD…or shall I say LBS (Little Black Slip) is from Sonsee! They are an awesome company that has mastered the art of comfortable shapewear. They have a vas selection or under garments to suit your everyday needs. I’m even wearing their shapewear under this dress! Lets get back to the dress! Here is a description from the Site:
“A must-have wardrobe essential. This long sleeve slip is made to support your body and every curve with stretch fabric that’s flattering and comfortable…but lightweight fabric that won’t overheat. If you’re a traveller, or need something that works in every climate, make this slip your new best friend. Pair it with tights of any denier, boots or sandals.”
So here is me (A real Body…) in the Slip/dress! I am not what is deemed by society the perfect Plus Size body. I have plenty of roles and a tummy! I do have on the light Shapewear from Sonsee as well. And YES, and there are still some rolls left! BUT this keeps me from “Jiggling” as I move throughout my day! And it’s super Comfy! I’ll also post a pic of those below. Sonsee has everything from Hosery to Day-Bras to Shapewear! Check them out!
Running Morning Errands Cuteness!
Its Valentines Day morning…you have to take the kids to school, run a few errands or just want to run out to grab some coffee. I got you boo! An yes, your LBD can come along for the ride! I decided to layer this look by adding an oversized xersion Long-sleeve Tee that I knotted in the front to take away some of the volume. I topped that off with a dope Camo jacket from JustFab . I accessorized with my Go-to Adidas and my Arcadia Tote.
Casual Lunch with the Girls (Or that guy…)!
So you and the girls decided to go out for lunch (Or your Boo, or just you…Hunni…I don’t know your life!lol!) and you want a casual look that says “Im Edgy but i have a girly romantic side too”. This look will do the trick. Same LBD, I paired it with a pair of sneakers (Sold Out, bur here is a similar pair) from Justfab. The jacket if from Kate and Mallory from Evine (I linked an alternative, since this style is sold out as well!). The Clear CrossBody bag is from JustFab! The inside is a cute clutch I had from awhile back, but if you want to keep your contents hidden (Which I suggest…), I would use cure Makeup bags or clutches that compliment the look your rocking to hold your contents.
I had to bring you a sophisticated look for you guys! I Paired our LBD with a Chic Gray Kimono Sweater from Target (Click HERE for an alternative! I Just bought this a month ago, you might still be able to find it in stores). The Shoes and the clutch are from Just Fab (Alternatives Linked). You will feel put together and chic for your dinner date…and the subtle pops of blush will add just the right touch or romance!
Ok Luxe Babes! Are you ready for a Coupon code!!! I See you Lookin like Yaaaassss!!!
Sonsee* was generous enough to give me a $20.00 off coupon code! YES! $20 off you entire purchase! THAT’S A STILL PEOPLE!! Use the code “LUXE20″ and go an purchase the most comfortable Intimates that are out there! You will feel amazing! CLICK HERE TO START SHOPPING!!!
Comment below and let me know which V-Day look was your Favorite! Remember that you don’t need a Beau… Just DRESS FOR YOU!!
Till Next Time Luxe Babes!
*(Note, this is not a sponsored post, Sonsee was generous to give me a coupon code upon request! Thank you again to Sonsee for your generosity!)
Hey Luxe Babes!
I wanted to share with you a couple of items that I purchased from from Rainbow Apparel, as well as 3 tips on how to choose what to order! I will be honest…I have for a long time, ruled out Rainbow because I felt that the clothing was basically disposable clothing, which tends not to look good on what I call a “Perfect Plus Size” Body Types.
Let me explain. I feel like if you are not a “Perfect Plus” size person, its hard not to look sloppy in clothing. I define “Perfect Plus” as someone who has a smooth curvy frame, most of the time your an hourglass in shape. This person has very few prominent rolls, lumps and bumps. Now I AM IN NO WAY SAYING what I call a “Perfect Plus” frame is better then, well, any other frame. I coined that phrase/description for the average model that you see in Ads and on websites. Sadly…a lot of fit models are that perfect plus shape as well, and thats IF that brand even has a Fit Model! I know i’m still going to get some backlash about using the term “Perfect” but…well…ummmm…FIGHT ME! lol!
Anywho!!!! Let’s get back to the point. Rainbow came through for your sis!! I ordered only 3 items (Ya girl is on a tight budget!) and 2 out of 3 were perfect! Not Bad huh?
BONUS TIP RIGHT OFF THE RIP!!!
Know the difference between JUNIOR PLUS and REGULAR Plus BEFORE Before you even start adding to the cart! I would definitely say the Rainbow leans more to Junior Plus…SO Size Up babes!!
Ok… (Steps off of soap box…) LegGO!
Tip 1: Try to choose a great basic!
If you purchase a pair of cheaper denim, in a lot of cases, the more distressing, whickering, embellishments it had, the cheaper it look! Now, I will say, Rainbow has some super cute distressed Jeans, but PLEASE, I beg of you, be carefull! I got a basic pair of jeans that I have already got sooooooo much use out of! They fit so well (Size 20) and I like the medium weight of them. They are made by Almost Famous ($22.99). They have just enough stretch to accommodate my fluffy waist as well as my very curvy thighs and legs. The length is perfect for a simple small roll of the cuff to show off a sandal or a bootie or you can wear it full length. The color is a medium Blue with a flattering grained denim finish (Makes them look more Luxe) and does not have a whole lot of unnecessary over-the-top shading and whiskering! Ill create another post talking about what I look for in jeans…but there are my new favorite Jean!
Tip #2: Pay Attention to Fabric.
The 2nd Item I purchased was this super cute cotton wrap top! I purchased a Size 3x because my upper arms are usually a trouble area to fit, and I felt like I could always tighten the wrap feature. I’m so glad I did because it was a perfect fit (With no room for error! LOL!)! I feel like because this was a cotton fabric, it looked and felt more expensive then it was. Some polyester fabrics tend to look a little cheezy, specially if its that shiny poly! SO please pay attention to Finishes of the fabric. Read the description and zoom in honey!!
A Few Full Body Photos! (Shoes: Vince Camuto)Tip #3: Know that everything might not work!The 3rd item I ordered is this cute Duster! I saw another Youtuber (Shainna from A Thick Girls Closet! Subscribe to her, shes awesome!). She looked super cute in it! But she is smaller in her arm region, that’s why I Sized up (Purchased a 3x). NOPE! Did Not work! So ill just either sell it (Its sold out online) Or hold on to it to see if I could fit in in at a later date. I’m SO trying not to do that because I am a “Ill get into it soon” hoarder! LOL! but I’ll insert a stock photo of it. Its too cute!Understand that shopping online can be a gamble sometimes BUT if you only shop brick and Mortar (Whats in stores) you are seriously limiting your self!Don’t say I didn’t tell you… Momma told you…(Insert Cardi. B Child Meme)I Hope these 3 tips (Specially the Bonus tip) help you navigate and choose wisely pertaining Rainbows Plus Size section. Of course you can ventur in store to shop, but I will say online carries a Waaaaayyyyy more vast Plus Size collection! When you get a good feel about sizing and material that a site carries, you will feel better about taking more shopping risks the 2nd or 3rd time around! You can use these tips at any other lower priced retailer! Let me know what you think about the items I chose! Should I do another Rainbow Haul?? I would love to hear your thoughts so comment below!Till Next Time Luxe Babes!xoxo~StephaniePhoto Credit: Russell Gilliam of Ingenious Images Photography